Joyful Momma's Adventures in Mothering

Bedrestings (A Reader Question)

Last Updated on Sunday, 13 September 2009 17:10 Written by Kimberly Thursday, 13 August 2009 01:48

A Reader recently asked via Email:

My doctor now says I am to stay on bedrest for the time being. I know that you were on bedrest. How did you manage? I have two little kids and a house to care for.

I have sympathy/empathy and lots of prayer for anyone on bedrest. It's really the pits. It's also something of a joke when you have little ones and no all day available help...and even when you do, it gets old having your house overrun with others.

The thing is, I am not sure I "managed" ;) I am pretty sure that I could have handled it better, but me and sitting around don't go together very well. Perhaps it is just one more area where original sin rears its head: in the whole garden of Eden, God told Adam and Eve that there was just one tree to avoid, and what did they do? They ate the fruit on that tree! In the same way, as much as we say we'd love some rest, the second we have doctor's orders to be on the couch all day long, we can't stand it. (I'm going through this right now too...I can't have dairy products at all, and so what am I craving? Arrrgh!)

Here are some tips that did help me, and hopefully they will help you too:

1. Set up, or have someone else set up a "command center" for you. This should include things like a cordless phone (charged), some easy to make food/snacks for you and the kids (in a cooler if necessary), books to read aloud, diapers, wipes, large trash can (with lid!) and other toys, games, and so forth. Anything that will give you something to do.

2. Check Your Attitude, and Try to Convey the "Bright Side" to the young ones. I'm probably the wrong one to preach this sermon, because I think this was the area that I failed at the most, but in hindsight, and in talking with the kids today about this, the days that went the best were the days that I pretended we were camping out. I let them make forts out of bedsheets. We all snuggled in together, reading. I somehow conveyed to them on these days that I really was happy to spend the whole day just enjoying their company on the sofa sleeper (er, sort of...oldest dd said she knew I wasn't really thrilled about it but she enjoyed it anyway).

3. Accept Help with out Complaint or Judgment when offered. We like to be the queens of our own castles, and so we tend to not really enjoy letting some other woman encroach on our domain (this is usually made worse by mothers in law and moms for some of us if we have issues to start and if the helpers are using this as an opportunity to "fix" the household to their liking....if you are a mil or a mom of a bedresting daughter, resist the urge to redo the family into the way you've been hoping she'd do it all along...trust me on this.). When someone gives you some help, receive it graciously. This is only temporary.

4. Think about the Goal here...a healthy baby, born on time If you remember why you are doing this, it's easier to deal with.

5. If someone offers to help and asks what you need, here's a suggestion: if they are the sort that is good with kids, and trustworthy, suggest an outing with the kids. The best help I received was someone taking my kids to the park for the afternoon...they came back with all of their cabin fever out of them, and they slept well, and I didn't feel like I had to spend another 5 hours entertaining toddlers. If you are someone who knows someone on bedrest, offer to take the kids to the zoo, to the park, or somewhere else where the combo of sun, fun, and fresh air will wear them out.

One Step at a Time: Article at Boundless.org

Written by Kimberly Thursday, 28 January 2010 22:02

I'm pleased to have a new article over at Boundless.org, called One Step at a Time. Check it out, and let me know what you think!

Advertising & Review Disclosure

Last Updated on Thursday, 08 October 2009 11:07 Written by Kimberly Thursday, 08 October 2009 09:23

On this website, you no doubt have noticed a good many banner ads, and sometimes you will find some product reviews under the heading "Top Picks". Per the new FTC Rules here in the United States (if you blog, you should read that, as it is important!), I have to fully disclose to you, my readers, exactly what renumeration I get from these said ads, and what, if any, material relationship I have with anyone I mention on my website.

To put my "disclosure"  into simple terms, I made 62 cents last month from freebies, ads, and affiate links. I think that about sums it up. Some months are better than others, and some months that number is a negative number. That's the reality of running any business in this economy.

Now to get more specific about the different kinds of advertising and reviews that I have on my website:

Generally, the Top Picks are products that I have bought and used, then found helpful, and write to you about. I haven't yet figured out how other bloggers get all of that free swag, and I am not adverse to getting free things to review that would be of general interest to my readers. When (if) that happens, and something was given to me, it will be clearly stated in the review.

When I have an affiliate link for the product, I include it in the story. You can usually tell if something is an affiliate link when you hover over it. The link will be from "linkshare" or "amazon.com" and will be very long -- those are usually affiliate links. Whenever I have an affiliate link for any product I mention in my blog, I include that in my post, because it only makes sense from a business standpoint. I'm not being directly paid to blog; I do it because I love it. The affiliate links help me to earn a small amount each month, if anything, to offset the costs of hosting a website. My site is primarily supported by my online store and design services, though some months it's supported by the leftovers out of the grocery budget.

The ads to the top, right side of the website, which display product photos on a blue field are from my online bookstore, so obviously I make money if you click and buy. Below those, on all pages but the home page, are banner ads from either affiliate programs I love or (Lord willing, in the future) paid advertisers.

I never, ever, ever, ever, ever recommend a product (whether I'm being paid for it or not) if I don't totally love it AND think it would be useful to my readers. My whole purpose in ever reviewing anything is NOT to make money  or to help one of my business buddies, but to showcase things I've found that I think you, my readers, may like or find helpful. When a review contains an affiliate link, I have fallen in love with the product first, and as an after thought, while writing the review, I go to Amazon or Linkshare to see if there is an affiliate possibility for that product (never the other way around). On the rare occasion that someone sends me something for free to review, if I don't totally love it, I will send it back (if possible) and simply don't write the review. I will not now nor ever accept advertising dollars or be paid to review something if I don't love the product or think it to be useful to other moms. The amount of compensation sent my way never affects the review I write, as I feel that would defeat the purpose of a review by a mom for a mom. Any reviews I write, if I was paid to write the review or got a free item to write the review, I will let you know that in the reivew (this has, as of this date, only happened once, when I got Kathy Brodock's Cake Decorating DVD, which I love and recommend).

Most of the banner ads on this website are either paid per my advertising rate structure, or are affiliate banners, meaning I earn a pittance should you click and buy something. The banner ads under "special offers" are offers that the affilate program alerted me to, and are time sensitive, except for Safe Eyes, which I both use and recommend, and think every family with web-surfing children should have on their computer to keep their children safe. Yes, Safe Eyes pays me if you sign up after clicking my link, but as with other reviews, I have been using them for years, and have been and continue to be a happy paid customer with them. I'm just one beggar showing the other beggars where to get the bread.

Most of the links on the Web Links page are simply blogs I love. Sometimes these bloggers notice that I have a link to their site on my blog, and then suggest an affiliate link or a link exchange, which I then do. The banner ads and links on the web links page (aside from those in the sidebar on that and other pages) are never paid ads, and are never there if I don't like the blog or resource.

Most of the links there are there after I discover the site while looking for something else. If you have a recommendation for a link to put there, just drop me an email.

When my daugher or I design a website for someone, or do a graphic for them, I put it up on my design services portfolio page as soon as possible. I usually will tell you a little bit about them, their services or blog, and so forth...and the only renumeration I've gotten for this is the payment for the design services I performed for them. I am not being paid (or even asked) to review their site. I am really just showing off my own work, but directing you to their site in the process. Again, I don't direct you to a site if I don't really like it myself. If there's a caveat about the site, I share that. As I design a website and work with a client, getting to know them, I usually develop a sense of pride for what they are doing. This helps me work with them, and do a good job for them, no matter how big or small the job. The portfolio helps you to see the kind of work we do, and help you make a decision as to whether or not I am the right designer/programmerl for the job you have in mind.

While I am all for fairness and truth in advertising no matter the source, I am a little bit irked with the FTC's decision to discriminate against bloggers, but not force the same standards on those working in print media. I would love to see women's magazines have to disclose every piece of swag they get from companies that they "casually" mention in their editorials. If women wanted to read ladies magazines, they'd still be in business. Instead most of us prefer the first person content from real world bloggers over paid articles by people who've been stuck in New York City too long. So, FTC, stop pandering to the dying breed by trying to overregulate us. If you want to regulate something, do it fairly, across the board.

All blog posts after this date will include a footnote or a mention of some sort if I received any direct renumeration for a review or recommendation.

Can Christians Celebrate Christmas in Good Conscience?

Written by Kimberly Monday, 26 October 2009 14:42

It happens every year at this time. It is October but soon my email box will be flooded with forwards, articles, notes, comments and debate about whether or not a real Christian will celebrate Christmas. I am not one to just make assumptions so I often research things out when they come across my desk or computer screen. In researching this particular topic out, a very interesting tidbit kept coming up, which will be discussed later.

The arguments against celebrating Christmas (or any other holiday not expressly commanded by God for us to celebrate) usually boil down to a handful of arguments. A few of the simple arguments against include the following:

1. "God never told us to celebrate Christ's birth." This is true, however, it is not so much celebrating His birthday as it is taking a specific season to remember the miracle of the incarnation....God became flesh and dwelt among us....that is something to celebrate! He also never told us to have carpets in our church or use a Hammond B3 Organ, but most of us do.
2. “We don't really know when Jesus was born and it is doubtful shepherds were out with their flocks in December.” Hmm. True enough, but does it matter? The fact is, He was born! That is an intricate part of the Gospel message, the incarnate Christ! A point, I might add, that many liberal so-called “Christians” dispute—God becoming flesh and dwelling among us.
3. “Christmas is a commercialized holiday and does not recognize Jesus' Birth anymore.” Ok, sort of...if you spend all your time at the shopping mall you might think that. However Christians ignoring it will not fix it but make it worse.
4. "The Puritans did not celebrate it nor did other conservative religious groups in colonial America." The Puritans and other such groups did and advocated a lot of scary things, and actually persecuted some other Christian groups such as the Baptists (reference: "This Day in Baptist History", Vol. 2). Some of what they practiced was good, some of it was bad.
   
   I am only thankful I am not living in Puritan days. It also occurs to me that we only mention how much we need to be like the Puritans when it involves something we want to do. I don't see anyone dressing like them, living like them, or holding to the same standard in other areas as they did.
5. “Christmas was started in response to a pagan holiday around the same date.” Well, not exactly. You see, the date of Christmas, the 25th day of Kislev (the Hebrew month corresponding to December), is also the date of two very important events in history, and these events are the origin of celebrating Christmas in December. Time for a history lesson!

Before our Lord was born, the Jewish people were under oppression from a leader named Antiochus Epiphanes. After conquering Syria, he went into Israel, slew a pig on the brazen altar in the temple at Jerusalem, and set up idols of various Syrians "gods" in the temple! This was an outrage to the Jews and an insult to the Lord!

Antiochus Epiphanes demanded the Jews were to come in and worship and those who did not were killed. Many thousands were murdered. This desecration of the Temple occurred on Kislev 25, 168 B. C., which was already celebrated as a pagan holiday because it is around the time of the shortest day of the year, or the Winter Solstice. Those of you who understand differences in calendars will note that the Hebrew calendar is slightly different from the calendars we use today, and so December 25th is an approximate date for what Antiochus Epiphanes did, that varies each year, as Kislev (and other months) did not have the name number of days that our months have.

Around this time, a Jewish priest named Matthias, and his sons, led by his oldest son Judah, started a revolt against this abomination, and after a few years of fighting, on Kislev (December) 25, 165 B. C. (date according to Jewish historian Josephus), the Brazen Altar and temple were cleansed, and worship of the one true God was restored. This occurrence, now celebrated as a feast by Jews, is better known as Hanukkah, and it is the Hebrew word commonly translated "to train, dedicate; dedication". That is why in the New Testament, Hanukkah is mentioned as "the Feast of Dedication" (John 10:22). (this is the same word, by the way, used in the verse about “Training up” a child...dedicate them, and is the reason why we have baby dedications).

So, basically, we could say that Christmas started as a pagan holiday, because a pagan desecrated the temple of the Lord on a pre-existing pagan holiday, and the Lord ultimately got the glory three years later, when the worshipers of the true God Jehovah defeated the pagan idols that had been set up in His house! There's a reason to celebrate something right there!

Because the exact date of Jesus' birth was unknown, and the early church was largely made up of Jewish believers, this date was selected to remember the first coming of Christ. Really, it makes sense. "Temple" is used often in the New Testament to refer to Jesus' physical body (a word He used often), and it was on the date of His birth that the Glory of the Lord truly did fill the "temple". The date reflects this, as the celebration was so closely linked in the beginning with the rescuing, dedicating, and cleansing of the actual temple in Jerusalem.

Normally, when we think of Hanukkah, we think of the candlestick (called a Menorah), and lights. However, lights were not originally part of the celebration.

In the account of the first Hanukkah, in the books of First and Second Macabees (in the Apocryphal books not included in the 66 book canon of Scripture), lights are not mentioned but the victory God gave the Maccabees is emphasized. Lights are mentioned by Josephus about 100 years after Christ, when Josephus described it as a festival of Lights. There is some hints here and there that point to the fact that lights were added to the celebration by Jewish believers in the first century.

When Jesus was in Jerusalem for the feast of the Dedication, several times He referred to Himself as the light (see John 8-12), while in and around the temple for this holiday. It is believed by many that this is why an emphasis was put on lights after the life of Christ.

A quote that appeared over an over again as I did my research was a quote by a Hebrew-Christian scholar named Alfred Edersheim, who wrote, "The date of the feast of Dedication, the 25th of Kislev, seems to have been adopted by the ancient church as that of the birth of our blessed Lord, Christmas, the dedication of the true temple which was the body of Jesus Christ."

Copyright 2005, Kimberly Eddy, Joyful Momma Permission granted to reproduce this article as long as this copyright information, byline, and web address are included with the article.